Intimacy Unveiled in the Realm of BDSM

On this Valentine's Eve episode your host, Dre', seeks to unlock the secrets of BDSM and kink and challenge the conventional understanding of intimacy. Discover how this once-taboo world has blossomed into a celebrated avenue for deeper connections and personal growth. Episode 21 of Leo's Liberation, part of our "Love's in the Air" series, promises to enlighten you on the liberation and intimacy found in BDSM. We focus on the essential pillars of safety, trust, and communication, while taking you on a journey through the historical evolution of these practices from the shadows to the mainstream. Whether you're curious about edging, spanking, or role play, we keep the conversation light-hearted and accessible, urging you to explore these dynamics with an open mind and a trusted partner.

As we spice up the discourse on relationships, we dive into the dynamics of dominance and submission, offering exciting ideas like public challenges and creative role-play scenarios that can renew the spark between partners. Embrace the possibilities of bondage, sensory deprivation, and alternative sexual expressions that go beyond traditional boundaries, benefiting even those facing challenges like erectile dysfunction. We'll touch on the spiritual connections that practices like tantric sex can foster, and reflect on love's multifaceted nature as Valentine's Day approaches. Join our candid exploration of love and intimacy as we set the stage for our next episode. Stay connected with us across platforms and help us grow by liking, commenting, and sharing your thoughts.

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:06

you know, my first experience to anything kinky would have been a movie called exit to eden. This movie was about a young photographer that took a vacation to a private island where he was exposed to the world of kinky exploration. This was also my first time being exposed to the music of enigma and other artists of that genre in the 90s. However, this was my first time being exposed to the music of Enigma and other artists of that genre in the 90s. However, this was my first time actually being exposed to anything BDSM related, and you know, bdsm made its comeback in the late 80s to early to mid 90s, but today it's back and this time around, I would say most people that practice aren't shy about it. It can open the mind, it can build deep, insightful connections. Open the mind, it can build deep, insightful connections and, shockingly, it can save a marriage. So forget what you've seen in the movies. It goes further than that and it's a slave to your imagination for sure.

Speaker 1 0:55

I'm Dre, and this is Leo's Liberation, the podcast where we work to unlock our potential and grow to be better versions of ourselves on a weekly basis, and today we're talking about one of the most taboo subjects in most, if not all society BDSM or kinky sex in general. So strap on the gag ball, handcuff yourself to the bedpost and grab your favorite whip or paddle and let's talk dirty for the next 10 to 15 minutes, alright, and also it's our 21st episode, so I thought we'd celebrate like a 21 year old would do and kind of just get out there and let it all go as we continue our loves in the air series. All right. So kink or kinky, you know, basically it's considered to be kind of an inclusive term that covers BDSM, sadomasochism, kinky sex, dominance and submission, role play, sex games, fantasy, fetish and other alternative erotic expressions, so basically pretty much anything under the sun. It's kind of in the eye of the beholder at this point. But BDSM it was a term that actually came to be used in the late 80s, into the 90s, and that bondage and discipline, which is a term that appeared in the 70s. And then you have dominance and submission, sadism, the masochism also referred to as sadomasochism. I think that was first used back somewhere in the 1800s and I think the gentleman that thought it up or kind of came up with the term itself was richard von kraft, ebbing um. But you know, it was kind of reclaimed back in the 70s by that kinky population, you know kind of post-war uh era and kind of um, you know, I think we're moving towards the end of vietnam, so people were think kind of being a little bit more free at this point.

Speaker 1 2:25

So BDSM serves the same purposes as sex. It involves pleasure and connection on a deeper level for the person or persons involved. This can be no different than any other thrill-seeking hobby or event. You have skydiving. You have people that are obsessed with tattoos and piercings in any place on their body. You have experimenting with narcotics, which is up to you, but we all have our vices, and this is just one of those things that you can add to your list.

Speaker 1 2:51

First and foremost, though, before we get into this conversation, let's talk safety. This experience isn't about deliberately causing pain and suffering to seriously harm someone. Everything is conducted based on trust and permission and, obviously, communication and, most of all, safety. I'm not saying that if you meet a stranger this week and allow them to tie you down and beat you, burn you or cut you, I advise that you conduct this activity with someone that you trust, love and they also value your safety. So, for the sake of everyone, you know you want them to all enjoy that experience. But, you know, until you're familiar with what's going on, always talk things over before you get into this type of business. I'm not saying it's a business, but you know what I mean. So, basically, now that you have kind of received your safety brief, let's get to it.

Speaker 1 3:38

So there's many ways to practice BDSM and it's not all about ropes, chains, leather and whips, keep in mind. This is a way to connect on a deeper level. So edging, which we talked about earlier this week, may be a good place to start. So, technically, if you actually, you know, try the challenge. You're already doing it right now. So, you know, throw a little bit of a tease in there, uh, to see if you can get your partner to release without touching themselves. Um, you know you want to win the bet you know of who can last the longest. So, you know, remember that was the challenge on Monday. And if anything, teasing will build the excitement and anticipation that's, you know that's for things that come on the weekend.

Speaker 1 4:13

So, the certain practices that you have, and you know we're going to breeze through or breeze past what some of these things may be, and but you know we'll. They're fun to talk about. So definitely sit down with your partner and kind of explore that a little bit more. But we're going to breeze through this, um kind of, because you know, obviously you want to get into, want to make sure we can cover it all, and it is a lot to cover. So, in the name of Valentine's and keeping it sexy, we're going to keep it vanilla, basically, and just kind of steer clear of the extreme stuff. If you want to know more about that, there's tons of websites and books out there. Dive in, um, but you know you can explore this world on your own.

Speaker 1 4:49

So, basically, you know we're going to start off with what you probably would expect bdsm to be, which is spanking, caning and flogging for all those stimulated. Or maybe you know, uh, they, they may be stimulated by, or you know, maybe that you know that hand to butt cheek or hand to skin or hand to flesh, however you want to phrase it um, or you know the back of an object, or you know, I'm sorry, um, or you know, basically let me back up for a second, guys, sorry, I'm kind of excited just talking about this. So, basically, you know you have spanking, caning and flogging for all those uh that are stimulated by, maybe you know that hand to butt, cheek, or you know the back or an object or more you know, riveting type of uh material, whatever turns you on right. So when spanking you, it cool and sexy. You know, remember you're trying to turn the person on, not harm them. Also, check in with your partner throughout the activity to make sure that they're okay. And you know the reason that it's best to do this with someone who knows you well. You know, maybe the person you're spanking had an abusive childhood. So you know, first date you may not want to tie them down without their permission or talking this over, and this is how you um, you know this is not how you kind of want to find out that they have trauma to deal with. So, basically, you know the crying may be therapeutic for some and you know, yet again, just the way to connect. So you know, take things slow. It's not a race guys. Uh, you know, make your partner sex late. That's another one to go about.

Speaker 1 6:03

Uh, you know another practice that you can have. You know you dominate them or vice versa. Um, you know, this is uh where things can get fun and this can last one night, it can last one month, it can last a whole freaking year. It's all up to the couple and how far you want to take things. So challenge them to perform for you in public or, if you want, you know, keep it private. But you know, when you get home, just imagine they meet you at the door with the leash around their neck and a drink in one hand, slippers or a bathrobe in the other. And you know, just be sure, you have awards established, you have goals, rules. You know. Keep it fun, use your imagination with this one, because you know you don't want to get bored with it. So you definitely kind of have to keep things interesting, but always talk things over. I'm going to keep saying that throughout this whole thing.

Speaker 1 6:45

So now we look at bondage. That's basically getting tied up, and these are yet again the things that you probably would imagine it to be. But getting tied up by someone you trust, of course this can be fun. But you know, if you're a control freak, you know handing the reins over that may be a little bit difficult, but you know it also may be exactly what you need Just handing over that control, so exposing yourself to the sexual imagination of your partner, with no way to physically remove them or keep them from moving forward with the act. You may also want to gag yourself. That way you can't speak. So basically you're kind of at their disposal, which can be a turn on yet again if these things have been discussed. So sensory deprivation masks also definitely force you to kind of rely on one sense, whether it be sight, hearing, hearing or taste or smell, or actually they do make masks that can take all those senses away from you and you're just kind of, yet again, kind of stuck in a limbo. Don't worry, you will be able to breathe. So don't worry about passing out or anything like that, you know.

Speaker 1 7:43

So then you know, obviously, for you know you guys out there, couples out there that may have genitalia issues, whether it be small, you know your partner may be too big. Whatever the case may be, you know it's not always about penetration. Just keep that in mind. You don't have to start there. At least you know. Look at penile stimulation. You have clamps, testicular massaging. You know ladies, you can obviously, you know, find your favorite toy of your choosing and make do with it while you're pleasing your guy or girl. So basically, you know, tap into other sensations beyond penetration. This may be, this also may be good for people who are dealing with erectile dysfunction. So always a good thing to explore. Don't just give up. Sex is fun. You should have it, and there's plenty of ways to make sure it happens.

Speaker 1 8:27

So, finally, you know you have that spiritual connection. I believe it was first, um, the first time I heard about this was from sting, uh, the music artist. Uh, he kind of mentioned this a while back and it was, uh, I believe it was an interview, uh, interview on MTV, if I recall correctly, but he was talking about tantric sex. And you know, this is kind of somewhat of a meditative form of copulation, um, that involves the whole body without the use of, you know, molly. So you know, not here to judge if you do that, but you know, basically you're trying to, you know yet again, connect with yourself and connect with your partner on that deeper level. So if you're into meditation and you want to keep it clean, definitely give it a try.

Speaker 1 9:03

So you know what's the difference between BDSM, you know then and now. You know it was a bit different then than it is now, but you know not by much. So the level of secrecy. You know it has declined a bit. But let's be honest, the one thing the Internet has killed is secrecy. So secrets, especially within a relationship, can be very sexy.

Speaker 1 9:23

And you know, back in the Victorian era, the you know the four letters obviously BDSM, they weren't used and the act wasn't discussed. You know the four letters obviously BDSM, they weren't used and the act wasn't discussed. You know the social norms, I think in general were different, obviously, and I wonder how many people were admitted to an asylum for expressing their kinky side. You know it was very easy to get thrown in a crazy house back then. But you know kinksters back then, I think, would practice in high-end brothels. And you know, keep in mind, the term did not come to use until 1800s, but BDSM has been practiced for centuries. So you look at your Roman rulers, you look at the Karmacetra, you look at Egyptians and so forth and so on.

Speaker 1 9:59

This has always been a way for people to express their curiosities and these curiosities, I think, live in all of us, even the holiest of us, but they live in all of us. And think about that cat of nine tails that was used for punishment back in the day. But you know, every now and then you may have someone who grabbed it and kind of punished themselves and I'm pretty sure there was something deeper going on there that they couldn't express, but this was the best way they could do it. So you know, moving into the modern era, bdsm and kink practices are more in the mainstream than they used to be. It's more acceptable and in some cases, advised to. You know, maybe save a relationship, so it breaks the monotony of just doing the horizontal shuffle, you know.

Speaker 1 10:38

But, as mentioned, if discussed, at hell, you know, bring a therapist to help you get started with experimenting. But you know you want to have that talk and you know there's so many options that it can kind of be overwhelming. So you know, there's sites, there's apps, bars, public events dedicated to the exploration of being kinky and some people, you know, or I'm sorry, there are some, some are probably more public than others where you may have the more private ones that are invite only. So you know what works for a stranger, what works for hooking up with a stranger, and actually, you know, getting into this activity, you know, do I practice this on the first date would be a question you know. Well, that's totally up to you I'd say but you know, what kind of vibe do you get from this person? You know, in the world where you know we all meet online and we can project any persona, you know we wish to lure someone into our bed. Um, you know, with that persona and you know all I can say is choose wisely. You know if the spider senses are tingling with the red flags, you know trust those senses and just back off, just you know, pass that one. But you know, on the offhand, you know this is where you know putting that phone down and making eye contact and making that natural connection may serve you best. And sometimes that weird guy or girl, you know they may be the freak you need for one evening. I don't know, maybe that'll be your actual release. Who knows, it may blossom into the person being. You know that being the person who knows you best. So you know.

Speaker 1 12:01

But you know you also have to look at what works for couples. And you know, for the newbie couples committed men and women and you and those even married for quite some time this can teach you so much more about one another. I think when people get married, they kind of give up and just think, oh, I know everything about this person. There's so much that we can learn about each other. I don't care how long you've been married. We're always and constantly evolving. But you'll learn about new places on the body that may be considered the spot.

Speaker 1 12:29

And if you don't have kids, you can turn your bedroom or living room into a sex dungeon. You know where the floor is covered in roses. You know you have a red light ambiance and you know black leather sex swing or something like that, or a stripper pole for your own private backstage performance. You know where you're the boss, whatever the case may be, but you know, remember, this is where your imagination wins, and just imagination wins. And just keep in mind, don't pass judgment, keep it fun. Um, you want everyone in that room to feel comfortable and welcome and you know who cares about a few extra uh. Or you know, basically, who cares about a shit ton of pounds that you may have gained. Who cares? Um, you know who cares if you don't have. You know that six-pack you used to have when you were in college. You know. You know, find and create the atmosphere that works for you. The energy you put into, put into this is what you're going to get out of it. So you know.

Speaker 1 13:11

And then you look at the. You know you want to kind of experiment and enjoy the challenge. So you know, the challenge for this weekend, along with the 20 million other challenges that I've given you guys, you know, but I think they all kind of tie together, no pun intended, I promise. So the challenge there is, you know one. Let's try go shopping for a toy if you don't have one already. You know, toy, sex swing, leather mask or latex suit. And if you don't own these things already, just give it a try. You don't have to buy anything, Just walk into the store.

Exploring the Meaning of Love

Speaker 1 13:39

But you know, make this a part of your session. Or, you know, when you're engaging to release from. You know, edging all week. But you know, leave notes for each other or text messages throughout the day, you know, maybe with photos attached, maybe naughty ones, maybe not. You know where you work, you know what's safe, you know what's not. But you know, take a break during lunch, go to the bathroom, flash one another, keep it fun. That's what it's all about. So you know, remember the energy that you put into this is exactly what you're going to get out of it. You know, be that young version of yourself again where you just weren't scared of trying or doing anything. So I hope that you guys enjoy all these challenges that we're putting together and I hope you can tie them together to kind of maybe have a fun evening, friday, saturday or the whole weekend if you haven't.

Speaker 1 14:21

So I'm your host, dre, and I'm going to be signing off from another steamy episode of Leo's Liberation. Love is in the air for sure, and Valentine's Day is right around the corner, and tomorrow, to close out the series, we'll be discussing love. And you know why does it feel good, why does it hurt so bad when you lose it? You know why is it important to mean what you say when you're using that word with another person. You know I can't wait to kind of get into this, this topic, as well. So you know, as always, guys, take care of yourself and each other. You can find me at leosliberationbuzzsproutcom. Leo Liberated on Facebook, leo underscore Liberated on X and leos underscore Liberation on Instagram, and please follow me on whatever platform you listen to this podcast on, give me a like, rating or leave me comments to grow on. I will talk to you guys tomorrow. Have a great night, thank you.