The Joyful Art of Surrendering Control

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:05

Welcome to another episode of Leo's Liberation . I'm your host , dre , and I want to wish you guys a very , very , very happy Friday . We made it and we're moving into the weekend after this workday is done . I'm not sure about your neck of the woods , but in my area the weather definitely affected the movement of time this week . Some days were way slower than others . Lots of time to think , but lots of time to get things done also , but it was just fairly gloomy most of the week , but there was such a relaxed mood in the air it kind of made it difficult to maintain a high level of energy and motivation . So , not to mention that , that lack of sleep kind of got the best of me as well . I don't know if you are , but if you're one of those people that can't go to sleep as soon as you lay down , most likely like your significant other spouse , whoever or you find yourself getting caught up in the thrall of YouTube and Facebook shorts at 1130 at night , join the club . That's me . So nevertheless , we made it , guys . That's all that matters . My house will be preparing for our first christmas gathering of the year and the month , so lots of cooking and music . Yes , we have a playlist for cooking and I think it's the best . It's a nice mix of what we both like . You know a little bit of everything mixed in there , but you know it all keeps the the mood positive for cooking .

Speaker 1 1:17

I've been somewhat exiled from gift wrapping , so not my best talent , I'll admit to that . I just prefer to wrap and stow it under a tree because it's going to be torn to pieces anyway . So you know I'll help . But you know the gifts that I normally get to wrap are most likely the ones that you would give your four-year-old um or something that goes into a bag and doesn't take a lot of effort . I will admit I do get a little frustrated with wrapping gifts because for some reason I can just never measure the wrapping paper out properly . That's even using the lines that are on the paper . Yes , I know about those as well . So basically , I'll admit I'm excited about the little get togethers we're about to have , even though I may have pouted a little bit getting to this point , because I know we have to work just a bit to make these things happen . But you know one of those thoughts I had this week , basically , is it really considered work if you're making dinner and , you know , having a party for family and friends . I don't know . I'll let you know at the end of this , uh , at the end of this weekend or monday morning when I talk with you guys . But moving onward to the topic that um will hopefully ever so gently guide us into the weekend , not really sure how this one's gonna go , but we're gonna give it a go anyway .

Speaker 1 2:22

I had a lot of thoughts flowing through my head this week in the midst of trying to keep my energy up and not going to the gym either . I will punish myself later for that . Most likely next week I will be on a treadmill like a hamster , but I will punish myself . I did eat clean , though , side note . Okay , so I decided to uh that , talking about accepting what we can't control as a way to ensure we go into the weekend taking a breath and letting it all go and looking to a new start on Monday .

Speaker 1 2:51

So not sure how many of you listening are considered control freaks or consider yourself a control freak , like yours truly , but it's a hard thing to , in a sense , control . So in my brief research , which is literally probably anywhere between 24 to 48 hours , control Freak sounds a bit harsh , even though I've been this person at one time in my life . I think it was more of a trust issue versus control , or at least that's how I downplayed it to myself . People outside looking in always see something different , but to myself I just thought it was more of an issue of I don't trust this person to get this done right , so I'm gonna do it myself . Control freaks excessively have to control everything and if it's not their way , usually you'll see them in the back sitting waiting , watching and listening with those anxiety shivers or that stare as if they're cursing the project or task in hopes of failure . So now they can be relied upon .

Speaker 1 3:44

Like I said , I used to be this person before I learned to be a leader versus a manager . You know , in leadership there is trust and it involves people . You know management simply involves things . You know like task or time , things like that . But you know that that leadership truly does dig into the dynamic of you know what is known as the human being . So anyone who's ever been in a leadership position can tell you leading people is not the easiest thing . All the time it takes work to get your team to where you want them .

Speaker 1 4:17

That thing about the label of control freak it comes with such a negative connotation attached to it . It's kind of very stigmatizing , in a sense . So yet again in my quick learning , I stumbled upon another word or I I shouldn't say a word , but another condition somewhat similar but doesn't sound as harsh , so emotional dysregulation , which is defined as one's inability to control or regulate their emotions . There are pretty much a lot of triggers for this , but I guess some of the more common ones are feeling overwhelmed by seemingly minor things , difficulty controlling impulsive behaviors or having unpredictable outbursts . I think , at times , I can be this person . I think we all can be this person . At times , I think I do get overwhelmed by minor things . Sometimes , you know , it's the things like maybe the way your significant other may wash the dishes that drives me nuts sometimes , even though I shouldn't let it . Or someone having too good of a time and laughing loudly constantly at a party . You usually hear this person over everyone else , even though no one else in the room hears this person . You hear them , and it is literally causing you to grind your teeth , because every time they chuckle , it pretty much acts as a trigger for you , in a sense .

Speaker 1 5:37

So the cool thing , though , is that this emotional dysregulation is not necessarily considered a behavioral health disorder , which obviously means , you know , or I guess , a mental health disorder . In a sense , I guess there is treatment disorder . In a sense , I guess there is treatment . Um , and , as usual , most medical sites , you know , they always point at medication and you do what's good for you . If this falls , if you feel , feel like you're this person or this may be an issue that you suffer from , because it is usually linked to things like PTSD , bipolar things like that but if you feel like you may be this person , definitely seek out your healthcare specialist , talk with them about it and see what they may suggest .

Speaker 1 6:14

Um , you know , or just get yourself evaluated . There's nothing wrong with that at all . Everybody's doing it nowadays . Everybody needs somebody to talk to , right ? So , basically , if you know there , there are options , obviously . So medication is always that one option that's there , but me personally , I prefer something a little bit more holistic , or just talk therapy . As you can tell , I love to talk , but talking seems to be the best medication , because you're kind of getting things off your chest , you're expressing the way you feel . I would just say , if you do , just make sure you pick someone who's going to be truly engaged in what you have to say , but also be mindful of that person's time when you're sharing what you're sharing with them . So , yet again , there are holistic approaches to this .

Speaker 1 7:02

Um , you know , I'm not saying that this is something that I suffer from . I you know , I'm not saying this is something that you suffer from or anybody suffers from . Yet again , it's just something I stumbled upon in a quick look over when I had some free time at work , which , as I told you earlier , it sounds like I had a lot . Um's not something that I suffer from , but I think we all experience it a few times in our life . Just remember , there's help out there Family , friends , pets , time alone to hit that famous reset button I always love to talk so much about . I encourage you constantly hit that reset button . There's nothing wrong with it . When things just don't work out , just start over . There's nothing wrong with it . You know , that's the beauty of being a human being we have the chance to start over and fix what may be wrong or what may be considered going wrong in our lives , the point being don't lose it over something you can't control . This weekend . Life is going to happen , whether you want it to or not .

Speaker 1 7:55

Accept the moment as a lesson that is designed for growth or not . Accept the moment as a lesson that is designed for growth . Also , learning helps slow the movement of time . Learn this one . Not sure how factual it is , but I'll take it , because most of us are trying to stay young forever . In some cases , I do enjoy aging , but staying young forever is kind of cool too . But yeah , learning helps slow the movement of time and allows us just to age a little bit slower . So definitely take advantage of these learning opportunities that you have , and that's the way you should look at it as a learning opportunity , whether it's the same thing that happens the same way each time .

Speaker 1 8:29

Yet again , your spouse doing those dishes and they just do them the way you just don't particularly care for . But no need to lose it . Just sit back , watch , learn Yet again . You know . First episode we talked to lose it . Just sit back , watch , learn yet again . You know . First episode we talked about people watching . Just sit back and see . There's something in their mind that comforts them with the way they do it . That's just what they like , that's how they like to do it , so be it . That's them doing it . You know if you want , you know if you want to do the dishes , do the dishes . I don't know why I'm using that as an example , but I think that's one thing that all couples have in common . Uh , some reason the dishes seem to be the uh , the trigger for a lot of couples . Um , so , basically , you know , like I say , life is going to happen , whether you want it to or not . Um , and always try to learn from these experiences . They're not always bad . So obviously here comes that time for the challenge , and the challenge for everyone that deals with the need to control or have control of most things in our lives . Challenge for everyone that deals with the need to control or have control of most things in our lives .

Speaker 1 9:21

The weekend is here to relax and let go . You've worked for it and you know time is short , so don't let it go to waste worrying about things beyond your control . When you get home , or wherever your weekend destination is , grab a book , grab a drink , grab that fishing pole if you're out west , where it's still sunny and warm grab the remote or that soft pillow that you've been thinking about all day and just let life happen . The weekend is your time and your time alone . I'm Dre . I'm signing off to get through this day and into the weekend festivities . Enjoy your time and remember , guys , just let it go . Take care of yourself and each other and please follow me on whatever platform you're listening on with this podcast and give me a like or rating . This is Leo's Liberation . Enjoy the weekend and I'll talk to you guys on Monday . Thank you .