The Joyful Art of Surrendering Control

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:05

Welcome to another episode of Leo's Liberation. I'm your host, dre, and I want to wish you guys a very, very, very happy Friday. We made it and we're moving into the weekend after this workday is done. I'm not sure about your neck of the woods, but in my area the weather definitely affected the movement of time this week. Some days were way slower than others. Lots of time to think, but lots of time to get things done also, but it was just fairly gloomy most of the week, but there was such a relaxed mood in the air it kind of made it difficult to maintain a high level of energy and motivation. So, not to mention that, that lack of sleep kind of got the best of me as well. I don't know if you are, but if you're one of those people that can't go to sleep as soon as you lay down, most likely like your significant other spouse, whoever or you find yourself getting caught up in the thrall of YouTube and Facebook shorts at 1130 at night, join the club. That's me. So nevertheless, we made it, guys. That's all that matters. My house will be preparing for our first christmas gathering of the year and the month, so lots of cooking and music. Yes, we have a playlist for cooking and I think it's the best. It's a nice mix of what we both like. You know a little bit of everything mixed in there, but you know it all keeps the the mood positive for cooking.

Speaker 1 1:17

I've been somewhat exiled from gift wrapping, so not my best talent, I'll admit to that. I just prefer to wrap and stow it under a tree because it's going to be torn to pieces anyway. So you know I'll help. But you know the gifts that I normally get to wrap are most likely the ones that you would give your four-year-old um or something that goes into a bag and doesn't take a lot of effort. I will admit I do get a little frustrated with wrapping gifts because for some reason I can just never measure the wrapping paper out properly. That's even using the lines that are on the paper. Yes, I know about those as well. So basically, I'll admit I'm excited about the little get togethers we're about to have, even though I may have pouted a little bit getting to this point, because I know we have to work just a bit to make these things happen. But you know one of those thoughts I had this week, basically, is it really considered work if you're making dinner and, you know, having a party for family and friends. I don't know. I'll let you know at the end of this, uh, at the end of this weekend or monday morning when I talk with you guys. But moving onward to the topic that um will hopefully ever so gently guide us into the weekend, not really sure how this one's gonna go, but we're gonna give it a go anyway.

Speaker 1 2:22

I had a lot of thoughts flowing through my head this week in the midst of trying to keep my energy up and not going to the gym either. I will punish myself later for that. Most likely next week I will be on a treadmill like a hamster, but I will punish myself. I did eat clean, though, side note. Okay, so I decided to uh that, talking about accepting what we can't control as a way to ensure we go into the weekend taking a breath and letting it all go and looking to a new start on Monday.

Speaker 1 2:51

So not sure how many of you listening are considered control freaks or consider yourself a control freak, like yours truly, but it's a hard thing to, in a sense, control. So in my brief research, which is literally probably anywhere between 24 to 48 hours, control Freak sounds a bit harsh, even though I've been this person at one time in my life. I think it was more of a trust issue versus control, or at least that's how I downplayed it to myself. People outside looking in always see something different, but to myself I just thought it was more of an issue of I don't trust this person to get this done right, so I'm gonna do it myself. Control freaks excessively have to control everything and if it's not their way, usually you'll see them in the back sitting waiting, watching and listening with those anxiety shivers or that stare as if they're cursing the project or task in hopes of failure. So now they can be relied upon.

Speaker 1 3:44

Like I said, I used to be this person before I learned to be a leader versus a manager. You know, in leadership there is trust and it involves people. You know management simply involves things. You know like task or time, things like that. But you know that that leadership truly does dig into the dynamic of you know what is known as the human being. So anyone who's ever been in a leadership position can tell you leading people is not the easiest thing. All the time it takes work to get your team to where you want them.

Speaker 1 4:17

That thing about the label of control freak it comes with such a negative connotation attached to it. It's kind of very stigmatizing, in a sense. So yet again in my quick learning, I stumbled upon another word or I I shouldn't say a word, but another condition somewhat similar but doesn't sound as harsh, so emotional dysregulation, which is defined as one's inability to control or regulate their emotions. There are pretty much a lot of triggers for this, but I guess some of the more common ones are feeling overwhelmed by seemingly minor things, difficulty controlling impulsive behaviors or having unpredictable outbursts. I think, at times, I can be this person. I think we all can be this person. At times, I think I do get overwhelmed by minor things. Sometimes, you know, it's the things like maybe the way your significant other may wash the dishes that drives me nuts sometimes, even though I shouldn't let it. Or someone having too good of a time and laughing loudly constantly at a party. You usually hear this person over everyone else, even though no one else in the room hears this person. You hear them, and it is literally causing you to grind your teeth, because every time they chuckle, it pretty much acts as a trigger for you, in a sense.

Speaker 1 5:37

So the cool thing, though, is that this emotional dysregulation is not necessarily considered a behavioral health disorder, which obviously means, you know, or I guess, a mental health disorder. In a sense, I guess there is treatment disorder. In a sense, I guess there is treatment. Um, and, as usual, most medical sites, you know, they always point at medication and you do what's good for you. If this falls, if you feel, feel like you're this person or this may be an issue that you suffer from, because it is usually linked to things like PTSD, bipolar things like that but if you feel like you may be this person, definitely seek out your healthcare specialist, talk with them about it and see what they may suggest.

Speaker 1 6:14

Um, you know, or just get yourself evaluated. There's nothing wrong with that at all. Everybody's doing it nowadays. Everybody needs somebody to talk to, right? So, basically, if you know there, there are options, obviously. So medication is always that one option that's there, but me personally, I prefer something a little bit more holistic, or just talk therapy. As you can tell, I love to talk, but talking seems to be the best medication, because you're kind of getting things off your chest, you're expressing the way you feel. I would just say, if you do, just make sure you pick someone who's going to be truly engaged in what you have to say, but also be mindful of that person's time when you're sharing what you're sharing with them. So, yet again, there are holistic approaches to this.

Speaker 1 7:02

Um, you know, I'm not saying that this is something that I suffer from. I you know, I'm not saying this is something that you suffer from or anybody suffers from. Yet again, it's just something I stumbled upon in a quick look over when I had some free time at work, which, as I told you earlier, it sounds like I had a lot. Um's not something that I suffer from, but I think we all experience it a few times in our life. Just remember, there's help out there Family, friends, pets, time alone to hit that famous reset button I always love to talk so much about. I encourage you constantly hit that reset button. There's nothing wrong with it. When things just don't work out, just start over. There's nothing wrong with it. You know, that's the beauty of being a human being we have the chance to start over and fix what may be wrong or what may be considered going wrong in our lives, the point being don't lose it over something you can't control. This weekend. Life is going to happen, whether you want it to or not.

Speaker 1 7:55

Accept the moment as a lesson that is designed for growth or not. Accept the moment as a lesson that is designed for growth. Also, learning helps slow the movement of time. Learn this one. Not sure how factual it is, but I'll take it, because most of us are trying to stay young forever. In some cases, I do enjoy aging, but staying young forever is kind of cool too. But yeah, learning helps slow the movement of time and allows us just to age a little bit slower. So definitely take advantage of these learning opportunities that you have, and that's the way you should look at it as a learning opportunity, whether it's the same thing that happens the same way each time.

Speaker 1 8:29

Yet again, your spouse doing those dishes and they just do them the way you just don't particularly care for. But no need to lose it. Just sit back, watch, learn Yet again. You know. First episode we talked to lose it. Just sit back, watch, learn yet again. You know. First episode we talked about people watching. Just sit back and see. There's something in their mind that comforts them with the way they do it. That's just what they like, that's how they like to do it, so be it. That's them doing it. You know if you want, you know if you want to do the dishes, do the dishes. I don't know why I'm using that as an example, but I think that's one thing that all couples have in common. Uh, some reason the dishes seem to be the uh, the trigger for a lot of couples. Um, so, basically, you know, like I say, life is going to happen, whether you want it to or not. Um, and always try to learn from these experiences. They're not always bad. So obviously here comes that time for the challenge, and the challenge for everyone that deals with the need to control or have control of most things in our lives. Challenge for everyone that deals with the need to control or have control of most things in our lives.

Speaker 1 9:21

The weekend is here to relax and let go. You've worked for it and you know time is short, so don't let it go to waste worrying about things beyond your control. When you get home, or wherever your weekend destination is, grab a book, grab a drink, grab that fishing pole if you're out west, where it's still sunny and warm grab the remote or that soft pillow that you've been thinking about all day and just let life happen. The weekend is your time and your time alone. I'm Dre. I'm signing off to get through this day and into the weekend festivities. Enjoy your time and remember, guys, just let it go. Take care of yourself and each other and please follow me on whatever platform you're listening on with this podcast and give me a like or rating. This is Leo's Liberation. Enjoy the weekend and I'll talk to you guys on Monday. Thank you.